What I {Want to} Wear Friday

Remember how my insurance company is paying me to lose the baby weight?  Well, I visited my doctor this week and I should be getting my check next week.  Awe.  Some.

So I was strolling through Target the other day {thank you, iPhone, for entertaining the preschooler} and saw a few things that caught my eye.

Ultrasoft Boyfriend Cardigan in Oatmeal Heather

Long Trench Coat in Black/Grey Plaid

Denim Skinny

Ramone Tunic Top

Suffice it to say that I'm stalking the mailman until I have this cash in my hands!

Oh, Poop.

I had to share this little anecdote that happened right before Little Dude arrived.

The day before I went into labor, the Sunbean and I were at my 40-week OB appointment.  I would usually just drag the Sunbean along with me, rather than finding someone to watch her, because the appointments are seriously 2.5 minutes long.  I'd just pick up a box of chocolate milk (her Starbucks addiction is nearly worse than mine), set her up with Netflix on my iPod, and we'd be good to go.  Sidebar:  what on earth did parents do before technology?  Were waiting rooms just full of screaming kids?

Anyway.  At the 40 week appointment.  I mentioned that Little Dude's movement had slowed quite a bit, and my doctor decided to do a 'quick' non-stress test.  For those of you who have never had an NST, they hook you up to a contraction monitor and a heart rate monitor, sit you in a recliner, and come back in 20 minutes.

Not a bad deal, really.  I got the Sunbean set up with her Netflix (again with being grateful for technology), and settled into the recliner.  The nurse comes in 20 minutes later to get the printout, and it turns out that one of the monitors wasn't attached to the machine.  Well, of course not.  Not on the day I have a 2-year-old with me.

So it's 20 more minutes for me.  The Sunbean is doing great, really, with thanks to the nurse who gave her free reign over the sticker box.  The nurse comes back in after 20, and wouldn't you know....the freaking machine had run out of paper at about minute 2.  Love.ly.

Soooooo 20 more minutes for me.  At this point, I figured we're probably running out of possible machine malfunctions, anyway.  Well, 5 minutes after the nurse leaves the room, the darling Sunbean informs me that she needs to go poop.  There are lots of gray areas in parenting, but this is not one of them.  You just don't ignore poop.

But what's a momma to do?  I wasn't about to get up from the monitors, since I was working on NST #3 here.  There wasn't a bathroom adjoined to the room, either.  So I had the sweet little Sunbean open the door.  She's rather obsessed with stethoscopes (don't even ask why....I have no idea what makes the mind of a toddler work), so I told her to find someone with a stethoscope.  I figured a doctor or nurse would be a safe bet, right?  The proverbial boogeyman probably wasn't wearing a stethoscope.

I could hear her in the hall say, "Excuse me, lady?  I need to go poo-poo."  Seriously.  I was laughing so hard.  Thankfully, this particular nurse thought the Sunbean was a doll and was saintly enough to help her find a restroom.

I was thanking my lucky stars that the Sunbean has been potty-trained for about a year, and so she could go on her own.  I'm pretty sure wiping toddler bums isn't in the job description of an OB/GYN nurse.  Although, now that I think about it, perhaps that would be better than some of the things they get to do.

The Sunbean earned herself another trip to Starbucks for that.

Let's Discuss: The Circumcision Decision

The past few months have been an interesting journey for me.  I've really thought long and hard about circumcision, and done a lot of research.  To be honest, I'm pretty surprised by the decision MacGyver and I have made about circumcision.  I hesitated to blog about our decision, because I know that not all of our family will understand our reasoning.  I really don't care if they 'approve' or not, I just thought maybe avoiding a blog post about the subject would be wise.  Obviously I'm blogging about it anyway.

Had the Sunbean been a boy, I'm sure we'd have had her circumcised.  I just don't think I would have thought twice about it.  I can't speak for everyone, but I know I'm looking at things more closely with my second child.  Things aren't as new and overwhelming this time, so I'm able to think more clearly about the experience I want for my child and I.  Is that a function of the second child, or it is just me?

So MacGyver and I have decided not to circumcise Little Dude.  Our decision to leave him intact was a difficult one, but I feel like we're making the right decision for our family.  In case you're interested, here's our thought process.

The first thing I did was talk to Maya, an awesome mom of two little boys.  I had no idea what decision she'd made about circumcision, but I certainly value her opinion and I know that she makes well-thought-out and researched choices.  After talking to her, I did more research.

I was surprised to learn that the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) doesn't recommend routine circumcision.  They don't necessarily recommend against it, they just recommend not making it a run-of-the-mill, routine procedure.  I think this was the first wake-up call for us.

After that, I put in a call to our pediatrician.  We switched to this pedi when the Sunbean was about a year old, and we love her and trust her.  Again, I was pretty surprised by her comments.  She told me that circumcision is a cosmetic procedure, and she doesn't feel that the medical benefits outweigh the consequences.  She said that she'd be happy to perform a circumcision on Little Dude in the hospital (and she'd give him pain meds...not all places do, FYI), but if she were choosing for her own children, she would leave them intact.

I think the combination of my hippie tendencies (as MacGyver calls it), the recommendation of the AAP, and the recommendation of our pediatrician kind of sealed the deal for us.

There are so many points of debates about circumcision.  I can't believe how fired up people get, on both sides of the table.  One of the top arguments is the 'locker room' factor.  Proponents of circumcision will say that intact boys will be teased around their peers.  I think this one is a tough one to argue, because our  generation was routinely circumcised.  So yes, an intact male that is my age may have been teased (not sure...I was always in the other locker room).  But according to the CDC, the circumcision rate in the US is currently at 32.5% (this does not include circumcisions performed outside of a hospital, like at a bris).  That statistic tells me that Little Dude will not be the only intact male running around.  Of course, we live in the conservative Midwest, and I'd imagine the rate around here is a little higher than it would be, say, on the west coast.  I did ask our pediatrician how many she performs, and she estimated that about 50% of boys in our area are circumcised.

Another point of debate is the idea that intact males are more likely to catch an STD.  This one in particular makes me laugh.  The studies for this debates were done in an area of Africa with a high rate of HIV transmission, so not even our reality (thank goodness).  In my opinion, the best way to prevent my little boy from transmitting an STD is to teach him to wait until he's married to have sex.  I just don't think the STD argument is a valid one.

The other 'big one' is the UTI argument.  Many will say that intact little boys will get lots of UTIs.  I've done the research (and again, talked to our pediatrician), and I just don't think the risk of Little Dude getting a UTI is a valid reason to have him circumcised.  The current statistics (again, from the CDC) states that nearly 500 circumcisions would need to be performed to prevent 1 UTI.  For us, that's just not worth it.

So those are the big arguments, but there are tons of other points of debate, too.  This was a difficult choice for us to make, and I think there are valid ideas on both sides.  We're feeling at peace about the decision we've made, though we're prepared to hear some criticism from our friends and family.  This is the right choice for us, but I don't think it would be the right choice for everyone.

Tell me:  what are your thoughts?  Do you think we're total crazy hippies, or do you agree with our choice?  Do you have a religious perspective?  I'd love to hear what you think!

Little Dude's Birth Plan

 

The Sunbean at one day old.

 

After yesterday's mind-numbingly boring post, I thought I'd share my birth plan.  I have a meeting with the birth planner at our hospital tomorrow, so I'll warm up by sharing here.

With the Sunbean, I really wanted a natural birth.  I didn't want to be induced and I didn't want to use pain meds.  I prepped by reading lots of books, practicing self-hypnotism, and by meeting with my doula (aka...birth-loving friend).  I *really* wanted this natural birthing experience, but I just didn't have the knowledge I needed.  It was like setting out to make the perfect homemade bread with no yeast.  Not gonna happen.

This time around, I've got my 'yeast'.  Not only am I way more 'crunchy' than I was three years go, but I'm more confident in my decisions as a mother.  I'm not going to be afraid to be an advocate for myself and my child.

Don't get me wrong...I'm all about delivering in a hospital, surrounded by the most advanced medical equipment possible with highly-trained professionals (I sound like a hospital commercial).  I just don't want to have to use it.  That being said, as soon as something becomes medically necessary for the well-being of my child or myself, I'm all about it.

So I have a plan.  A birth plan.  But there's a secret to birth plans.  You have to make it look like you only have a few simple requests.  The nurses get all flustered when you hand over a 13-page document with tons of ridiculous details.  So my plan of attack is to have some things actually written on the paper, and other things just in my head.  For example, it is really important to me that MacGyver or I is always with our child, 100% of the time.  No exceptions.  This is so important to me that I don't need to write it down.  I will have the presence of mind to speak up about it.  And if, for some reason, I don't, MacGyver will.  He's in my corner like that.

So here's a basic idea of what I'll be waving in the nurses' face when Little Dude makes his debut:

During Labor

• No routine IV (an access port may be placed if needed).
• I will hydrate myself with water, ice, or electrolyte beverages.
• I will walk around and stay mobile.
• I will use a birth ball, the birth tub, and other natural pain-relief equipment.
• Please do not offer pain medication.  I'll ask if I want something.
• I'd like the option to chose my position for pushing.

During Birth

• I'd rather tear than have an episiotomy.
• If I do tear, please give me local anesthesia before repair.
• Please do not give me routine pitocin to deliver the placenta.

After Birth

• Please place the baby on my chest immediately after birth.
• I will hold my baby while all initial assessments are performed.
• Please delay the clamping of the umbilical cord until it has stopped pulsing.
• I want to breastfeed as soon as possible after birth.
• I will decline the eye drops.  I'd be happy to sign any waivers needed.
• Do not give my baby the Hepatitis B vaccine.  We will have our doctor administer this later.
• Please give my baby a pulse ox test for at least one hour between 24 and 48 hours of birth.



So that's the plan.  I'll bring it to my appointment on Friday and run it by the birth planner, but I think it's pretty run-of-the-mill, really.

Anything you'd add or change?

Professionals Shouldn't Wear 3-D Vests

It's no secret that I love my OB.  She's seriously fantastic.  She's saved my life twice, and gave me a fantastic birth experience with the Sunbean.  She's young enough to be open to just about anything, and experienced enough to know what's safe.  She's an organic foodie, too, which gives her some bonus points.  However, she's not good at referrals.  I hated the pediatrician referral she gave us (love the one we have now), and here's a fantastically ridiculous story about the physical therapist referral.

About 6 weeks into my pregnancy, I started having some serious sciatic nerve pain.  I know, I know.  A little early, but not for me.  I have a very crooked back, and one leg that is 2 inches shorter than the other.  I had early sciatica with the Sunbean, and I was expecting more of the same.

I didn't do physical therapy with the Sunbean because I was working full-time and it seemed like a monstrous hassle.  It is, if you were wondering.  I thought I'd give 'er a try this time, so requested a referral.

I was sent to a group that specialized in maternity care.  Sounded perfect.

As I was filling out the textbook of paperwork, a woman wearing one of those 3-D vests (you know, with pumpkins and ghosts that stick out....strike one) came up and called me 'sweetheart' (strike two).  Oooookay.  One:  you are a professional, for crying out loud.  Lose. the. vest.  Two:  my name is Abbey.  Unless you are my grandmother (which you are not) or my husband (definitely not), you may. not. call. me. 'sweetheart'.  Or 'honey'.  You just can't.

I follow pumpkin-vest to my room.  Even though I was wearing form-fitting yoga pants (which is what I was instructed to wear), she gave me a pair of XXL bootie-shorts.  Do any of you fellow Mormons see a problem here?  And for crying out loud, I'm not an XXL.

Then, she asks me a litany of questions.  Most of the same ones I'd already filled out in the 1,000-page packet.  I mentioned I was taking prenatal vitamins (obviously) and a DHA supplement.  I don't expect the average Joe to know that DHA is important for pregnant women, but this lady supposedly works with preggers all day long.  It was like she didn't believe me.  Maybe she thought it was a street drug.

Then, she asks about my back.  I tell her I have a 30-degree S-curve.  She asks if I have ever been to a doctor to have that officially diagnosed.  WTH?  Um, yes.  I did not have my husband measure that curve with the x-ray machine in our garage.  Honestly.

Why I was still standing there in my bootie-shorts, I have no idea.  But then she has me touch my toes.  It is a medical fact that I will never be able to touch my toes.  The curve in my back prevents it.  Well, this lady doesn't believe it.  She goes on to tell me that my doctor probably doesn't know much about scoliosis (hmmm...the orthopedic surgeon with 35 years of experience treating scoliosis patients....probably a complete dunce) and that I can't touch my toes because I must not exercise enough.  Oh.  em.  gee.

In retrospect, I think I did a knock-out job keeping my temper in check.  Or maybe I was just in shock over the entire experience.  Either way, this woman didn't get her head bit off by me, which is a miracle.

As if that's not enough, she then notices that my hips aren't in-line.  I'm well aware of that fact, as I have spent the past 27 years of my life hemming clothing 'crooked' so that it will look straight on me.  I refer her to my encyclopedia of paperwork, and remind her that my left leg (or is it the right?  i can never remember) is 2 inches shorter.  She literally rolls her eyes and asks again (I swear I am not making this up) if I have ever been to a doctor to have that checked out.

By this point, I am searching the room for evidence that she is really a physical therapist.  I'm sure she has the real one locked up in the closet or something.  But for real, my husband and I do not sit around measuring ourselves for fun.  We just don't.  I have known for fifteen years that my back is crooked and my leg is short.  Like, as in, I went to the doctor.  And had x-rays.  And measurements.  And scoliosis braces.  None of that is my idea of a good time.

The rest of the appointment proceeds with much of the same, and she finally decides she will need to do some research before she can treat me.  Inside, I'm cracking up.  As if I'd be returning to this group.  I (politely?) tell the receptionist that I won't be back.

Thankfully, I'm now working with a fantastic therapist who gives me deep muscle massages for an hour a week.  I think I love her.

Moral of the story:  please don't wear those 3-D vests.  And don't call me sweetie.  And don't ever go to that physical therapist.  She's crazy.